{"id":9820,"date":"2019-05-20T17:07:46","date_gmt":"2019-05-20T15:07:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/?p=9820"},"modified":"2019-05-20T19:59:23","modified_gmt":"2019-05-20T17:59:23","slug":"the-lump","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/the-lump\/","title":{"rendered":"the | lump"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>You have a lump in\nyour brain<\/em>, the doctor said to the president.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Fake news<\/em>, the\npresident responded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>It\u2019s in fact in your limbic system<\/em>, <em>Mr President.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Fake! Never heard of a\nlimbic system<\/em>, the president replied, and off he went.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In his private wanking room in the White House he grabbed a\nsharp knife and cut the lump out. Quite a big one. Too big for the sink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A knock on the door. <em>There\u2019s blood on your shirt<\/em>, the new PA commented. The previous five PAs were all fired because they had fabricated fake like: <em>You smell funny<\/em>, Mr President!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He sacked the new PA because no way was there blood dripping\nout of his limbic system onto his shirt. Fake news.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He filled the gap with toilet paper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ivana came in and said: <em>There\u2019s\nred toilet paper at the back of your wonderfully planted hair, master.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>You\u2019re faking the news\nlike all the others<\/em>, he screamed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Was the president\u2019s limbic system out of order, or maybe even\nmissing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Missing already when\nwe met<\/em>, Ivana said to the camera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The doc, whom the president called in the middle of the night,\nafter a bad dream, apologised: <em>You never\nhad a lump in your brain, and your limbic system is totally intact.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Fucking liar<\/em>, the\npresident said. But did not sack him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You have a lump in your brain, the doctor said to the president. Fake news, the president responded. It\u2019s in fact in your limbic system, Mr President. Fake! Never heard of a limbic system, the president replied, and off he went. In his private wanking room in the White House he grabbed a sharp knife [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-allgemein"],"wp-worthy-pixel":{"ignored":false,"public":null,"server":null,"url":null},"wp-worthy-type":"normal","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9820"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9820\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9823,"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9820\/revisions\/9823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.maxschoenherr.de\/clock\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}